Dear Explorer,
Re-Read Matthew 18:15-17
As we look at dealing with a brother or sister who has sinned against you, we talked yesterday about restoring fellowship by speaking to them privately.
Today we'll look at what happens if that doesn't work.
If this brother or sister refuses to listen – meaning that they are resistant to your counsel and refuse to quit doing the sin or to acknowledge the sin, then you move to the second step. What is the 2nd step?
Now this is tricky because you want to now include some spiritually mature people to go with you to talk with them. You must be careful that you don't just choose people who you feel will “side” with you. This is not for the purpose of choosing sides! This is an act of love toward your brother or sister, so you want to choose people who can help the most.
Now if they refuse to repent after you and your team have talked with them, what is the 3rd step?
In our current day, most churches do not practice church-wide discipline. Some churches do. That's up to the individual church and pastor. One of the primary reasons that it is not practiced today is because our churches are so large and are filled with both followers of Jesus and empty people. Because of this, church-wide discipline often becomes a circus rather than a place of love and support.
Where I do see this practiced the most is in small group settings – which I consider to be a more Biblical and appropriate setting. This small part of the church is more representative of a loving group of people who care about this person – than most 300-3000 plus members of a large church.
Then the final step is to refuse fellowship with them. Jesus never refused to be friends with empty people. But He tells us to refuse fellowship with a follower of His who is hurting you yet refuses to repent. Why?
To emphasize the importance of their sin and the need for repentance and fellowship.
Now Paul, in his writing says that there is another step. He says that if/when the person repents, they should be lovingly restored and treated only with love and acceptance. We should rejoice like Jesus over the lost sheep!
If you encounter this problem, Jesus has given us guidelines to follow. He outlines it here, but I assure you that the Holy Spirit will direct you step by step along this route.
Breaking these rules can cause a sister or brother to stumble and we've already talked about that!
But there's another side to this teaching that I want to mention.
What if you are the one who is approached by a loving friend? Realize that they are speaking in obedience to Jesus' commands and that they wouldn't come to you if they didn't love you. It's hard, but you need to thank them for their love and care, and you need to take seriously their request for you to examine your possible sin against them.
In His service, dale
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