Dear Explorer,
Read Matthew 19:1-12
And
Read Mark 10:1-12
When I was a kid, the wrapper around a piece of gum would be foil on the outside and paper on the inside. We used to try to cleanly separate the foil from the paper. I haven't bought gum in so long, I'm not sure that they even make gum wrappers that way anymore!
We used to try to be so careful that we wouldn't tear any of the foil. The foil was very, very fragile and thin – and was tightly bound to the paper backing. Now, please let me know if gum is no longer wrapped that way and I'll find a better illustration. But if you know what I'm talking about – I challenge you to try it if you haven't! Because that's the best example of God's plan for marriage that I can give you.
Or for those of you who work on cars – God intends for man and wife to be like J-B Weld. Apparently, that's a glue that is considered the world's strongest bond for metals. And apparently if you try to break it apart after it has set, you will break the metal (not the J-B weld). Sorry I don't have any personal experience with it – I've just heard the term.
The man and woman are to be so tightly bonded that they are one flesh before God, just as the foil and paper serve as one wrapper around the gum. God says, “Don't try to separate it!”
Now, if you've tried this you know that it's pretty much impossible to perfectly separate the foil from the paper. The foil will tear, and pieces will be left on the paper. That's exactly what happens when a couple divorce. Parts of each one are left on the other. It's not a clean break. And it's not pretty. Even though God will forgive you for divorce, there will be pieces of you that are missing and parts of the ex clinging to your life. That's NOT God's perfect plan for you. Recovery from divorce takes the rest of your life because you will be in Heaven before it is completely healed. Don't let anyone tell you differently!
Jesus says plainly that when you marry, it should be for life! So, don't rush into it or jump into it without much prayer and thought. It will be a permanent commitment whether you stay together or not.
Our world is filled with divorce. I believe it is another sign that Jesus will return soon. Does God forgive us for divorce? Certainly. But know that it still leaves permanent damage and that's not God's plan for either you or your spouse.
Will God forgive you for remarrying after a divorce? Certainly. But know that the permanent damage from your previous marriage comes as heavy baggage into the next marriage. And it comes with the penalty of adultery – meaning that you will always feel the shame and consequences of your previous behavior – even though God forgives you.
These are heavy subjects, but the Bible wants you to be absolutely sure that you take seriously your sexuality and commitments to other people.
Jesus says, there are people who cannot have sex because they are born without the sexual organs necessary. And there are people who are forced into that lifestyle by the castration (removal) of the sexual organs. And there are people who choose to live without the sexual act for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. This is called celibacy. A person who chooses celibacy has chosen to not participate in sexual acts to serve God in a more focused way.
Heavy stuff! I pray that you will seek God's clear direction for the decision to marry or not to marry. God is not trying to keep you from having a relationship. He is desirous that you have the happiest, most fulfilling relationship possible and He knows what is best. Listen to Him!
In His service, dale
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